Kevin
I met this kid when he followed my son in from playing to have a snack. We hadn’t lived in this new house, in this new town, in this new State, very long. He was so cute I, being single at the time, asked if his dad, who’s wife had just left him, was as cute as the kid!
I actually married that dad and the kid became my step son! I had three sons already and now I added a younger boy and a girl. They were easy to love and love them I did.
Kevin and I have a special relationship. I have fond memories of his growing up. Like the time he and I were walking down the street arm in arm until we came near one of his friend’s house. He abruptly disengaged until we passed out of sight of that house and then we went back arm in arm. He couldn’t let his teenage friends see him with his step mother! Or the times he came to me for advice or watching him do his sports or singing a solo in the choir concert. Many proud times! Many troubled times as well as with all kids growing up. Heart breaking times when I wasn’t sure he would make it.
I cried when he left for the Navy. I couldn’t help but worry. He needed the discipline of the Navy but I worried. He met a girl and I worried. He went to war and I worried. He got out of the Navy and I worried. No direction, little motivation, still needing self discipline. I was hopeful as he married (a different girl than the Navy one) and put himself in college. He thought he’d be a doctor. He would make a great doctor as he has compassion and is good at science kind of things. He messed all that up and was divorced a couple of years or so later. He is drinking too much and I am worrying again.
Recently he came back home to live. The rest of his family wished we wouldn’t rescue him as he continued making bad choices. We had hope that if we gave him a safety net he would get on his feet. It looked like we were right. He enrolled in school again. This time he wants to be a teacher. He would make a great teacher. He is good with kids. He could teach them science stuff. He was volunteering and working part time. We had great times cooking together (did I mention he is a really good cook?). He helped around the house to make up for not paying rent. Good trade off for me. Until he stopped coming home much or doing anything much. He had met a girl. All bets were off! His heart was captured and his head left the scene. Now I am worrying again. Familiar, discouraging worry. We had to ask him to find other arrangements as living with us was being abused. We hated that! How do you tell a son he is no longer wanted at home? The bigger question was what is the best thing for Kevin? How low will he have to go before he will turn his life around? He dropped out of school wasting the money and effort already invested. He got fired from his job. His car no longer worked. He got arrested and didn’t make it to a preliminary hearing. Now he has warrants out for his arrest. Worrying again!!!
Last week he asked us to go with him to turn himself in. Says he wants to become a man of integrity. After being lied to, used and conned by him this is sounding pretty good. Integrity would be a life change. If we thought it was hard to ask him to leave the house we were in really tough shape driving him to jail! My poor husband is heartsick. He wonders how Kevin went from being a carefree young boy to a man in jail? His offense was slight so consequences will be light …this time. The question on our hearts is if this was enough of a wakeup call for him to make a life change. We know he will try to do better but will he actually be able to stick with his new found resolve. How can we help him without impeding the process. We love the little boy inside him and look forward to seeing the man become who God designed him to be. God says He has plans for us. Not plans for evil but for good to give us a future and a hope. Where else can we go to overcome? Actually that is a big question! Where else offers redemption, forgiveness, hope, mercy and understanding, strength and courage beyond our capacity? I guess I am answering my own question about how to help him. Lay him at the feet of Jesus. Let the blood of the cross wash him whiter than snow. Pray for his eyes to be open and his heart to receive all his Lord has for him for today and tomorrow and throughout eternity.
There used to be a button I wore that said PBPGINFWMY Please Be Patient, God Is Not Finished With Me Yet. I like that! God isn’t finished with Kevin….or me. I am forever thankful for that. It gives me hope and builds my faith as I witness the faithfulness of God. In and of ourselves we are pretty lost but with God all things are possible. Since Jesus paid the price for our sins He has overcome the world. The power of sin and death have been defeated. Sometimes we live as if the war is being lost and the evil reigns but not so! We will rejoice with Kevin when he turns his life over to the One who can actually make a difference and we all see his weaknesses become strengths, his pain become compassion, his anger turned to forgiveness and his choices become life giving.
As for my worrying the Bible has the answer for that too. Philippians 4: 6&7 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
